Speechless With Indignation

A true, heart-wrenching sob incident, happened in my neighbourhood last week.

A 21-year-old girl (Indonesian Chinese), plunged to death from her condo unit while trying to clamber down nine storeys to elope with her 34-year-old boyfriend... her maid apparently had assisted her by tying a raffea string from the kitchen balcony.

The raffea string was found intact. Police believed that the girl had lost her footing and fell to her death.

The girl's parents claimed that the boyfriend had coerced her to climb down the building using the string. The parents found a series of emails allegedly sent by the man who had, among others, "provoked" her to flee her parent's home. He repeatedly telling her that she had to elope with him. He told her to concentrate on how "you're gonna climb that rope and please make sure your maid gonna hold on tight to it".

What was puzzling was that the girl was confident enough to use such a flimsy string that could not have possibly supported any human weight. Don't you think this guy played a major role in causing her death? One questions the man's motives and sense of responsiblity. There is a growing indignation in me.

It is learnt that the parents had objected to the girl's choice of boyfriend as they doubted the man's ability to provide for her as he was jobless, was also a windower with 2 kids. The girl had twice attempted to run away from home which led to her parents lodging police reports. Following her second disappearance, the parents had issued her the ultimatum to end the affair which led her and the man to plan the botched escape.

I was completely astounded when I heard the incident and am still feeling morose about what had happened.

A shudder ran through me. I have a girl, a teenage girl. How does one deal with teenage rebellion? I asked, clearly exasperated.

Teens, a period of real danger. This time in their lives, they often face a "crisis in confidence" which makes them vulnerable to risky behaviours and these bad choices can have devastating consequences.

I admit that I used to be quite quick-tempered but has since mellowed down a lot as I aged. Now, I try to be my daughter's friend, if not, her best friend. I am constantly trying to strenghten the bond between the two of us. At times, she openly defies my advice and retorts. Even if my blood boils, I try to avoid confrontation with her. Yes, I will just take a deep breath and turn away. I will try to bring up the issue at some other time, in some ways.

I understand that we are not born with an innate sense of right and wrong. I suppose we learn the difference through trial and error as we mature. They just need the time and life's lessons to learn to correct behaviours.

It is a real daunty challenge to raise teenage girls. I learnt and am still learning how to teach her to be safe, while on another hand encouraging independence and self-confidence. Like all mothers, I will give her all the love and support so that she can pass all tests of life and can tackle all hurdles with courage.