Give Them Power

Saturday was Parents' Day at my daughter's school. Not to my surprise, she did not do well this term. She has been constantly minding her own "business" these days and hence has vastly neglected her studies. I suppose from now on I have to keep a very close eye on her, start imposing stricter house rules and repeatedly preach the following : laziness will get her bad results, lack of education limits her opportunities in life ...

What amazed me on that day at her school was the behaviour and reactions of some of the parents. They spent ages with the teacher either trying to "get to know" their daughters through the teacher's words or strenuously denying the teacher's claim that their daughters were behaving badly. Worst still, I could hear mothers firing statements like, "Her hair/uniform is my, being the mother, business and is not up to you teachers to overrule." or, "I do not believe that my daughter behaved that badly." or, "I hereby challenge your evaluation on behaviour, she definitely deserves an A+ instead of a C." I really pity the teacher who was busy fending off the simultaneous wrath of these parents.

Over the years, I have noticed how parents become so over-protective of their children and often are quick to blame others except themselves if their children do not do well in their studies. Or worse, in some instants, they even challenge to take the teachers to court when their children are “punished” in school for their wrongdoings.

What has happened to us, parents? How can we be so naive as to think our children could never do anything wrong? I don't see why as parents we must become "kiasu" if teachers in our children's school take certain actions to instil better values and proper discipline in our children.


Some child rights activists argue that teachers should try to "understand student's feelings", "be more compassionate towards the students." and "intellectually persuade the students of the neccessity of a good education." I personally think it is a load of crap. Talk is easy. I challenge this group of people to try teaching in an average Malaysian school classroom for a week, or even just for a day. If after the event, they can still consistently rely on their soft approach, quite voice and gentle persuasion to quell three dozens rioting, arrogant students, then I will shut my gob.

Of course, it is right that we should be a caring society. At the same time, we must be practical and use our common sense on the issue of discipline in school. There is no two ways about it.


Back in the 70s & 80s when I was a student, the teachers had the authority to discipline the students and parents never dare to question. Teachers these days are so scared of the students as well as their parents. Teachers in today's schools have all the burden but none of the authority. We place huge expectations on teachers to groom our children, yet tie their hands with unrealistic rules of conduct rendering the teachers have all the responsiblities and no authority, whereas the students have all the authority but refuse to act responsibly. You call this an ideal classroom environment? I contend that if we want our children to be properly educated and become responsible citizens, we, as parents, must instead provide as much support as possible to the teachers.

I fully agree that whatever form of disciplines must take into account the child's human dignity and cultivate the spirit of peace, consistent with a child's rights. I am not asking teachers to do the extreme like make students kneel on spiky durian skin or tie them up next to a nest of ants! I am merely asking teachers to be provided with a symbol of authority that the students understand, respect and fear. We can turn things round, if only the parents are convinced of the dire need for strict discipline in schools, if only the Malaysian government makes the decree official.

Calling all parents, please would you stop being so over-protective of your children - at the cost of their futures?